Fairy Tale: The Good Knight Darien of Fawkesy
by Disgruntled Peony
Summary: The title says it all. ;) This is what happens when my sister and I start talking about I-man at one in the morning.


  
Title: Fairy Tale: The Good Knight Darien of Fawkesy  
Authors: liz_Z and mecha_borg  
E-mails: liz_Z@secret-agent.com, mecholah@austin.rr.com  
Category: Humor  
Spoilers: Oooh, we've got quite a list of small ones here. Let's see, small ones for Ralph, Money For Nothing part 2, Going Postal, and The Choice, for starters.  
Season/Sequel info: Well, umm, after 'Flash To Bang' I guess... It doesn't exactly fit into the timeline, you'll see why...  
Rating: G  
Disclaimer: We don't own 'em, blah blah blah... Man, do we have to go into this disclaimer stuff again? I mean, it's kind of obvious we don't own 'em, and it's equally obvious we don't make any money off of 'em, so why do we have to go through this crap with every fic we write? Honestly, you'd think TPTB would get the idea by now...  
Author's notes: My sister and I came up with this idea one night when we couldn't sleep, and we just had to write it down on paper. It was too hilarious to waste. :)

  
  
Once upon a time, there was a Good Knight named Darien of Fawkesy. He had a magical power; he could disappear from sight. He worked for a small, under-funded kingdom run by an old, fat king with a grumpy disposition, and the Court Jester, Eberts, who stayed faithfully by his side. Sir Bobby of Lithium, another Good Knight, worked faithfully by Darien's side. Claire Keepalot, the kingdom's magician, helped them. And the Lady Alex, who had journeyed from another kingdom to help them, bossed them around and tried to undermine the grumpy king's authority on a daily basis.

  
One day, after the Good Knight Darien had completed a good deed (he did that a lot, hence the title of Good Knight) the grumpy king called him into the Royal Audience Chamber. When he arrived, the Good Knight Bobby was already there, and he and the grumpy king were arguing about Bobby's pay.

  
The grumpy king took just enough time to mutter a quick thank-you to Darien for committing the good deed, and then continued arguing with Bobby. Darien rolled his eyes in disgust and left the Royal Audience Chamber, heading back to his humble abode for some much-needed rest.

  
However, while he lay in his bed, an evil wizard crept into the room. His name was Arnaud, and he had used a magic spell similar to the one the Good Knight Darien used, but the spell had failed and now he was trapped in a form that was invisible to the rest of the world. He blamed the good knight for this failure, and now he intended to get his revenge- and the solution to his problem.

  
The evil wizard knocked the good knight out with a baseball bat and had some evil knights from Christmas... umm, Chrystal-this... umm... the Bug Dudes... carry him away to a dark tower. And when the Good Knight Darien awoke, he found himself bound hand and foot. And he was shirtless (listens for the *thuds* from all the ladies out there).

  
Meanwhile, the Good Knight Bobby stopped by the Good Knight Darien's house, riding his trusty steed Golda. He quickly discovered that Darien was missing and rushed back to the Agency- err, castle- to report his findings to the grumpy king. The grumpy king was gravely worried at this news and sent the Good Knight Bobby, along with Claire Keepalot and the Lady Alex, to find the Good Knight Darien.

  
They might have brought the jester Eberts along but he kept muttering about chicken, sausages, and someone to love him, not to mention the fact that he wanted his turtle Alonzo back, so they thought it best to leave him with the grumpy king. 

  
Bobby, Alex and Claire Keepalot went back to Darien's house to look for clues when Bobby found a trail of Christmas's... chrystal-this's... butterfly cocoons. They followed the... butterfly cocoons till they led the group to an evil looking tower. Of course, all of the entrances were being guarded by Bug Dudes. But with a little intuition and looking they found one last entrance that they could enter through; the sewers.

  
The sewers were very unpleasant, and the Lady Alex didn't like it at all; in fact, she wouldn't stop complaining, although that wasn't much of a shock because she was always complaining. Claire didn't mind as much, because the Good Knight Bobby was helping her along very carefully. In fact, she was quite happy- until the Lady Alex splattered sewage all over her.

  
Meanwhile, back up in the dark tower, the Good Knight Darien flew into an unnatural rage and broke free of his bonds, fully intending to rip the evil wizard limb from limb. The evil wizard tried to give Darien a magic potion to placate him, but Darien smashed the potion to the floor and the evil wizard fled the room, screaming like a girl. Unhappy to see that his quarry had escaped, the not-so-Good Knight Darien began to take his rage out on the wizard's spell-room, smashing beakers of spells and ripping apart books with instructions on how to make them.

  
Just then Bobby, Alex and Claire Keepalot burst into the room. The evil wizard tried to stop them, but soon passed out from the aroma of the raw sewage. Darien turned on this friends with the uncontrollable rage. But as he came closer Claire Keepalot pulled out a potion. As the Good Knight Bobby and the Lady Alex struggled to hold him, Claire Keepalot gave Darien the potion.

  
Darien was soon his normal self again and suggested that they capture the evil wizard, who was hiding in the farthest corner of the room. However, the evil wizard summoned up a horde of the... Bug Dudes, and while the Good Knights and the Lady Alex were fighting them, the evil wizard escaped.

  
The Good Knights and the Lady Alex were able to defeat the... Bug Dudes, and they rushed out of the tower, which soon collapsed to the ground, because in the fight the Good Knight Darien had accidentally knocked over the beaker that he had poured all of the evil wizards potions into and it had smashed to the floor, where it had quickly begun to eat away at the foundations of the tower like acid.

  
The evil wizard escaped with many of the... Bug Dudes, and once again made a vow that he would destroy Darien of Fawkesy for making him invisible, destroying his spell-room, and causing him to scream like a girl.

  
And as the Good Knight Darien and his friends rode off into the sunset on the trusty steed Golda, Bobby leaned in and kissed Claire Keepalot, and all was well in the kingdom. For the present, at any rate...  
  
The End 


End file.
